You're allowed to be angry


You know what happens to a caged animal? It eventually bites the hand that feeds it.

You can’t blame the animal. It’s not because the animal is “bad”, it’s because it’s hypersensitive to stimuli caused by under-stimulation. As such, they become bored, apathetic, depressed or anxious. Since living through a pandemic, you know EXACTLY how this bullshit feels.

No one wants to experience the world inside of a cage. Whether it’s being physically locked up, feeling like such in a relationship or feeling without options in your own life; cages were meant to contain, and Goddess, you were meant to fly.

Because you know what I’ve been seeing this week? People are ANGRY, which is correlative to the “home cages” we’ve been in. From street brawls, to murders, to Winners’ stand-offs in-store, the shit is coming to the surface and it is very important to discern and hold space for this exceptionally powerful emotion right now.

I don’t want you to repress your anger. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO FEEL. I used to think that finding alignment/balance in my life was only about being love and light. I have felt shame for having my father’s famous temper, but I’ve learned that with light and love, there is also space for a little “go fuck yourself”. What does that look like though? It’s saying, that’s “not for me” and outputting strong boundaries or walking away - not by crucifying the person in front of you!

I had a patient who was telling me that her anxiety was flaring up, except when we reviewed the symptomatology, it wasn’t inline with her typical presentation. We discovered that she was actually feeling anger, and had been feeling shameful about expressing it. Your emotional body is the delivery system for you to process, but ignoring these feelings WILL manifest into physical symptoms. Anxiety and repressed anger can show up in your life in similar ways. Anger can look like: stomach pain, headaches, dizziness, gut rot, inability to focus or find clarity, irritability, feeding addictions, apathy, and boredom.

We talked about how it’s like, we’ve accepted that some emotions are ok to have, but others aren’t. Listen, it’s not that I enjoy being angry, but I have given permission for ALL OF ME TO EXIST; the bold, the brazen, the sassy, the nasty and the love. That includes, sometimes I get angry, which is now fuelled into my life in healthy ways.

How do I handle my anger? Here are my tips:

  • I discern it. I recognize what I’m feeling is anger and I take a BIG breath.

  • I observe it. Why am I feeling this way? The fuck is going on?

  • I gather information. What was the trigger? What is the mirror showing me?

  • I exercise it, without directing it at others (this is why I lift heavy shit now). Writing, screaming into a pillow, punching a bag, talking it out, are all great options.

So yeah, you angry. I get it. A global pandemic topped with a heat wave and isolation is going to encourage you to feel it - but what I’m asking you, is: what are you actually angry about? See it. Feel it. Heal it.

Love you,

so hard.

Carlen

PS- stop being an asshole and going to Zoos/Marine worlds that cage mammals. Do you get it now?

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